As we walk through this world, we often move too quickly, caught up in our own thoughts and failing to truly listen to those around us. But deep listening is a sacred act that demands we surrender ourselves, open our hearts, and risk being transformed by what we hear.
When we encounter another soul and draw close to their story, we must consciously quiet the noise within. Only by inhabiting stillness can our senses fully awaken to receive the other’s truth. As we listen, we are called to empathetically inhabit their worldview, to feel the world as they feel it in that moment. This is no easy task, for we carry our own experiences, fears, and judgments that tempt us to filter their reality through our own lenses.
Yet even if we cannot perfectly mirror their emotions, we must simply stay curious, committed to understanding what lies at the very core of their being. What hopes, fears, and stakes animate their life’s journey? By releasing our grip on what we think matters, we can be opened to what truly matters to them.
In this sacred dance of deep listening, we are pulled between two poles – drawing near to immerse ourselves in their story, then returning to our own center to metabolize how we have been changed. The circle continues as we are drawn near again with new questions born of humility. Sometimes empathy may arise naturally, other times it would be a barrier to truly hearing their need. Our listening requires we remain ever-fluid, shedding fixed judgments to keep seeking true understanding.
For witnessing another’s suffering is not enough. We can be moved to tears yet still live untouched, clinging to the privilege and patterns that perpetuate the injustice. True deep listening cannot be a performance of empathy, a consumptive voyeurism into another’s pain. It must bear the fruit of solidarity, a re-aligning of our lives to their liberation.
When we have traced the full circle of listening, we must ask: what is this story demanding of me? How must I reckon with my fragility, privilege, and complicity in order to have ears to truly hear? What new stories and struggles are bound to my own? What is the cost of doing nothing now that I know this truth?
As we attempt to walk this path together, we will no doubt falter and need to return to practice again and again. For even those experienced in bridging divides find themselves humbled when they encounter the true listening needed in their own homes and communities. But we must continue striving to surrender, open ourselves, and allow our lives to be re-oriented by the still, small voice that calls us yet deeper into love.
Summary
Deep listening is an act of surrender, being open to being changed by what we hear. It involves quieting our own thoughts, using our senses, and trying to inhabit the other person’s worldview with empathy. The critical part is understanding what truly matters to them, not just what we think matters. We should ask ourselves what their story is demanding of us and how it will change our actions. Listening deeply is a dance between ourselves and the other person, between their stakes and our own. Sometimes we feel empathy, other times empathy can get in the way of knowing how to appropriately respond. Witnessing suffering does not necessarily lead to meaningful action – we can have empathy but still participate in oppressive systems. We must return to ourselves after hearing their story and consider how it should change us.
Key Points
1. Deep listening is an act of surrender and being open to being changed by what we hear.
2. It involves quieting our own thoughts, using our senses, and trying to inhabit the other person’s worldview with empathy.
3. The critical part is understanding what matters to the other person, not just what we think matters.
4. We should ask ourselves what the story is demanding of us and how it will change our actions.
5. Listening deeply is a dance between ourselves and the other person, between their stakes and our own.
6. Sometimes we feel empathy, other times empathy can get in the way of knowing how to respond appropriately.
7. Witnessing suffering does not necessarily lead to meaningful action – we can have empathy but still participate in oppressive systems.
8. We must return to ourselves after hearing the story and consider how it should change us.
