We are beings who long for affirmation and approval at the deepest levels. From the earliest days of our lives, we instinctively seek the nod of those around us – first our parents and family, then our friends and peers as we grow older. Their approval allows our sense of self to blossom and take shape. We feel we belong, we feel seen and accepted for who we are. Without that recognition from others, we feel adrift and insecure.
As we continue to mature, our sources of desired approval tend to shift. While still valuing the approval of loved ones, we increasingly look to those who embody the principles and ideals we aspire to for a deeper sense of meaning. Perhaps it is teachers or mentors whose wisdom lights a fire within us. Maybe it is social leaders fighting for justice and human rights that we admire. Or visionaries helping reshape society in more sustainable and compassionate ways that earn our esteem.
The more we associate with and attune ourselves to people living according to higher values, the more we internalize those values ourselves. We evolve in likeness to that which we revere and want to be validated by. Our lives take on greater purpose beyond just seeking belonging – we aim to lead lives worthy of approval in the eyes of those emblematic of our spiritual yearnings.
Yet even then, an emptiness remains. While the approval of esteemed humans can be profoundly fulfilling, it is inherently limited and imperfect. We intuit there is something more, some deeper well of meaning to drink from. An ultimate source of sanction and significance that transcends any one person or group. A divine wellspring that can quench that unquenchable thirst within us once and for all.
For whether we walk secular or religious paths, we all wrestle with that nameless longing. To be seen and known fully by something beyond this human plane of existence. To be blessed and granted value not just for our actions or minds, but for the essence of who we are at our core. We ache to be “okayed” and approved at the deepest level imaginable.
When we are in tune with that sacred yearning, everything changes. We become able to strip away our pretenses and defenses. All the habitual posturing and performing for the approval of limited others falls away. We stand radically open, vulnerably offering our whole selves up for acceptance or rejection by the divine. There is a wholeness and authenticity to living that way.
In those moments of personal reckoning with the ultimate, we feel vitally, vibrantly alive in a way we rarely do amidst the petty human busyness. To encounter and be encountered by that which is greater than ourselves – that is the essence of spiritual experience. When it graces us, everything else falls into perspective, even our griefs and pains. For if we are approved by the source of all sources, truly what else could threaten or undermine us?
So we keep walking that sacred path, wandering that ancient inward way. For the approval of the divine is our deepest wellspring, the very thing that can free us to embrace all of life with a fulness of heart and being. It may remain just an intuition, a reverential agnostic longing for some. For others, it manifests as passionate faith in a personal God or cosmic intelligence. But the drive remains the same – to receive ultimate sanction for the miracle of our existence.
To be granted that affirmation is to be granted the grace to meet all of life’s tensions and trials with equanimity. For who can unseat us if we are rooted in the ground of священно being itself? This is the profoundest liberation – to live in the approval of the approving of approvals. To let that be the lodestar that guides our journey of becoming, hassle micro-approvals of the world fade into their proper, limited place.
We were born from unity before we learned to divide and distinguish ourselves. In glimpsing and receiving ultimate approval, we taste that primordial oneness oncemore. And it is a homecoming like no other – to be truly, deeply seen and affirmed in a way that transcends any human’s ability to grant or withhold. May we all have the courage to continue opening to that indwelling presence and receiving its animating “yes.”
Summary
We all have an innate need for approval and to feel that our lives are sanctioned or “okayed” by something beyond ourselves. From a young age, we first seek this approval from parents and caregivers, then from peer groups as we get older – their approval allows us to develop a sense of self and belonging. As we mature, we tend to seek approval from those who symbolize our highest values and life goals. The more we align ourselves with sources of meaningful approval, the more we grow into embodying those values. Ultimately though, the deepest human need is for approval and sanction from God/the divine/a transcendent source of meaning. Attaining this allows us to fully accept ourselves without pretenses or defenses. The religious experience, at its core, is about the individual feeling vitally touched and approved by the divine/ultimate reality. Experiencing this provides confidence to face any of life’s challenges. If it’s possible to attain such divine approval and sanction, it would be foolish not to pursue it, as this represents the deepest fulfillment of our innate need for meaningful approval that affirms our very being.
Key Points
1. We all have an innate need for approval and to feel that our lives are sanctioned or “okayed” by someone or something beyond ourselves.
2. From an early age, we seek approval first from our parents/caregivers, then from peer groups as we get older. The approval of these groups allows us to develop a sense of self and belonging.
3. As we mature, we tend to seek approval from those who symbolize our highest values and life goals. The more we align ourselves with sources of positive/meaningful approval, the more we grow into embodying those values.
4. Ultimately, the deepest human need is for approval and sanction from God/the divine/a transcendent source of meaning. Attaining this allows us to fully accept ourselves without pretenses.
5. The religious experience, at its core, is about the individual feeling vitally touched and approved by the divine/ultimate reality. This provides confidence to face life’s challenges.
6. If it’s possible to attain divine approval/sanction, it would be foolish not to pursue it, as this represents the deepest fulfillment of our innate need for meaningful approval.
The main thesis is that our need for approval drives spiritual/religious seeking toward attaining a sense of ultimate, transcendent affirmation of our being.